Danny Boy
by hockeyfanmaddy
Summary: Dan couldn't get away from the fact that he still wore diapers underneath his clothes in place of underwear to this very day. kids couldn't wear underwear. His family was poor when he was younger, so the kids couldn't wear normal underwear. Even when the family mustered up enough money for the kids to wear underwear, Dan didn't outgrow diapers. EVER. Yes, another Schneider fic.


Dan couldn't get away from the fact that he still wore diapers underneath his clothes in place of underwear to this very day. kids couldn't wear underwear. His family was poor when he was younger, so the kids couldn't wear normal underwear. Even when the family mustered up enough money for the kids to wear underwear, Dan didn't outgrow diapers. EVER. When he tried on underwear, he absolutely HATED them. He's now the only Schneider member to _still_ wear (adult) diapers to this very day, at 52 YEARS OLD!

Aside from that, he absolutely loved the sensation of his excretory systems releasing hard, powerful, and on rare occasions, flawless solid and liquid movements. He was even amazed at the fact that his body could store so much unprocessed/processed food as he ate over the years, that he kept wearing diapers merely for admiring the sole, detailed outcome of his body's non-human work on his meals. Today was no exception.

Dan crouched in the backseat of his minivan, the seats folded down, doors locked, parked in a vacant forested lot, no less. He just couldn't wait for the now-digested milkshake and steak wrap to exit his system as a brown solid and yellow liquid. He squatted guilt-free on the flat surface of the folded seats, without any guilt at all, not to mention his windows were tainted. He felt like something wasn't right.

 _Aha!_

Dan slid off those black sweats of his, and scrunched and crinkled up his cushy plush padding of his disposable undergarment.

 _Mmm. I chose a nice, puffy, strong one today, didn't I?_

And now, the moment he was waiting for: _the release._ Dan squatted over the floor of that one back corner of the van,like a dog remembering its spot to "go",and, ever so lightly, pushed. He didn't want to rush the movement, he just wanted his anus to open at its leisure, and not to be forced.

 _Come on out, it's safe._

His gut churned in submission, shoving out the crap more.

 _Oh yeah, my sweet tummy. You don't have to suffer anymore. Just let it alll ouuut._

 _*schloorrrp!*_

A massive-enough log broke past Dan's rectal barrier, colliding with the diaper's plush with a poof-like fart.

*squeak!*

Dan became mesmerized by his bodily functions, giving his mind a meditation. He patted the outer fabric of the diaper, tracing his index finger along a hot lump. He then teasingly pushed the broken off bit of the turd back in. He moaned in lust as his waste was forced into his system yet again, only to be pushed out again. Dan took the liberty of lifting his massive, sexy ass up off the floor, and felt his intestines instantly surrender and fed his nappy. Dan felt just like his toddler self, already beginning to instinctively whine and drool onto the van's carpet. He lied down as if he were in a crib, and grasped at the air above him with his hands and feet, while he giggled and grunted to push out the rest of his load in small doses. He giggled at the slightest squeak of a wet fart staining the nappy fabric with his runny poo.

 _"*Grunts* *squirts* Eh, Mama, I made a hot squirty!"_ he cooed out, despite no mom in the van. Just him. And his smelly diaper. Dan began to harden from the hot runs burning against his nuts.

"Uh. Must. Not. Jack. Off! Aw, screw it." He reached for the front of his nappy for his raging boner, when he was wetting the thing, the front of it growing warmer and warmer. Now he was _really_ hard. He just rubbed his privates through his yellow, urine-soaked, potent-odored, nappy front to massage his Danhood **(Yes, I said it. XD)**. His messing just _wouldn't_ be complete without his jizz spurting into the already pee-stained fabric. Dan began to squeeze the messy nappy onto his rod, feeling its unnatural hardness. Feeling the steamy piss ooze all over his throbbing cock. Inhaling his seductive musk. Gasping for air with the amount of horniness he was putting into his hard, frustrated strokes. Sitting in his own, warm waste mush. He spent about 5 minutes toiling with his doohickey, until...

Dan felt his body go numb, then a tingly feeling in his dick. He was going to come _so hard,_ and he knew it.

"Unnhg! I'm g-onna, MOMMYYYYYY!"

Dan blew his mammoth load onto the black carpeting, the diaper was too weak to hold a climax like _that._ He just _had_ to shout "Mommy", because, once again, he was pretending to be a toddler.

"Mom, I can squirt glue From my pee-pee!" He lapped up the mess. "Sour, lemon-flavored glue!"

It was then that Mr. Schneider was smacked back into reality, him questioning his sanity from messing a diaper that was too small even for him! **(No offense whatsoever.)**

"Eeew. _Why do I have this on?"_ He threw his messy nappy out of the window and into the woods, to naturally decompose, not to mention with a whole box worth of used Kleenex to wipe his butt.

" _I really need to be more social more often.",_ he thought, as he drove back to running his daily errands.

 **AN: That's all I got. I'm the type of person who just wants to cut to the chase and get it over with. What shall I call this new phenomenon? I got it! Schneiderotica! Meh. Thanks for reading... Tell me what you thought! I'll tell you beforehand, I'm quite _odd..._**


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